Dear Misery

[I wrote this piece awhile back, but it was too raw--or maybe I was--at the time. I think it's time to publish it now.]

you whispered, "I don't love you anymore"
And suddenly the world grew silent
I toyed with the promise on my finger
thinking maybe you never did.
Seven years is a long time to forgive
when you suddenly don't know how to live

yet still, somehow, invisibility sinks in
I don't know how to tell them that I still love you
They think I'm crazy; if only they knew.
I just tell them that I'll try
but I've tried and I've tried
but all I can think is how you lied.

Dear Misery,
please let me go
There's a bottle in my hand and
through it I can see the void in my heart
Dear Misery,
I don't want to be alone
but I'm tired and I'm sore
and I'd give anything for you to go

Some days I just drive and drive
hoping somewhere I'll see a sign
leading me to the answers I can't find inside
It seems these days Washington's always on my mind
I'm stuck somewhere between here and there
the road looks so different when the map changes
So I'm just orbiting, orbiting . . .

I don't know where I'm going so I keep circling.
I'm chasing a ghost of you
like the sun chasing the moon
unable to see it's only a reflection of myself, that beauty in you
Maybe someday I'll be able to walk away
but not yet . . . I can't walk away yet

Dear Misery,
please don't let go
I'm feeling so empty now
I'm afraid of being alone.
Dear Misery
The bottle's almost empty now
And I'm tired and I'm sore
and I'd do anything just to go . . .